By Unknown

For years, rumors of CIA activity at the Bush School have flown around College Station and beyond. Undergraduates and campus visitors frequent the Allen building in search of evidence, but never daring to ask students what they will do when they graduate. Some say the Bush School feeds directly into CIA officer ranks. Others say it is an active base for CIA activity. Wikileaks has finally revealed the truth – the Bush School is a CIA training camp.

While “the Farm,” the CIA’s training facility in Virginia, has been responsible for indoctrinating CIA officers in the arts of parachuting, letter-opening, and lock-picking since 1951, there’s a new game in town. The Farm 2.0 was launched at the Bush School in 1998 under the guise of the Master’s Program in International Affairs.

The Bush School is equipped with a midget submarine, which patrols beneath the surface of the Bush School pond, and a network of tunnels running between the buildings in the Bush complex. All “Graduate Assistant” offices are equipped with Top Secret phone lines, and the top floor of the Bush Library is outfitted as a safe house, under cover of a presidential apartment. Bush School “students” practice precision aim at the horseshoe pit, use the parking lot for evasive driving techniques, and construct radios out of broken staplers, empty pizza boxes, and excess microwave parts in the student work room. The student office doors also spontaneously lock to give students regular practice at picking them.

Professor MacNamee leads the most overt training exercises at the Bush School in his Technical Collections class. Under the guise of practitioner academics, students conduct surveillance detection runs and asset recruitment scenarios. Professor Olson, former CIA Counterintelligence Chief, is actually still under cover in his position at the Bush School. The face so widely recognized is actually a high-tech CIA mask.

Visitors should not expect to see obvious signs of the Farm 2.0 when traversing the Allen building, but should be especially mindful of listening devices in classrooms and hallways, and therefore always exercise discretion in conversations.